As you might have noticed (I hope you noticed!), I haven’t posted anything here for several weeks. There were reasons. But the longer I didn’t post, the harder it became to start up again. How could I possibly catch up?

I finally decided to follow the advice I always give myself when I’m struggling to get going on a project: begin from where you are. (In other words, stop wishing that things were other than the way they are — that you’d done more or better or differently. Just accept how things stand and get on with it!) Maybe I’ll eventually post the pieces I’ve had simmering, or maybe I’ll just leave them on the back burner forever. In the meantime, let me tell you a little about what’s been going on — and about what’s making me smile these days.

Blog as garden

First of all, to those of you who have let me know in various ways that you enjoy this blog, my heartfelt thanks. Your feedback encourages and supports me. My favorite response so far came from my friend Clay, who sent me this:

I was talking to a friend last night (in a dream), and I used the expression “his chickens are coming home to roost.” (I can’t remember the context.) In any case, my friend thought the expression meant something different from what I told her it did. She said: “I’m willing to admit I might be wrong, but we need an arbiter.” “Ah,” I told her, “I know just the person, and I know where to find her.” I took my friend to your blog, which in my dream was a physical place on a quiet street. We opened a wrought iron gate that led to a peaceful garden with trees and fountains and benches. At this point my friend seems to have disappeared from the dream, but I remained in your blog/garden, feeling happy and at peace. And that’s how I felt when I woke up.

Shedding the exoskeleton

Craig is getting better! He took a fall in late September, landed squarely on his backside, and cracked one of his lumbar vertebrae. He’s recovering well, I’m happy and grateful to say, but it’s a slow process and he’s had to work through a lot of pain.

He is amazing, though: knowing how harmful immobility can be, he was determined from the start to do whatever he could, without pushing himself too far. Donning his high-tech carapace (the brace he was given when Kaiser sent him home to recover — apparently you have to have at least three broken vertebrae before they prescribe more intensive treatment) and supporting himself with hiking poles, he was up and about from Day One. And as soon as he was able, he started flying again — a broken back can’t keep this man on the ground! Now he’s dispensing with his brace more and more, returning to the gym, joining in social events, moving water heaters (ahem!), and generally getting on with things. Hats off to you, sweetie!

Ringing the changes

I turned sixty in October and have found myself thinking a lot about my dear mom, who died too soon — and about other dear ones struggling with serious life and health challenges. Now, with more years behind than ahead — and this might be the first time that reality has struck home — I’m wondering how to make the most of the time I have left. How does one live each irreplaceable moment to its fullest?

As I reflected, it became abundantly clear that a crucial first step is to leave my job, which has felt increasingly confining since I was transferred (note the passive voice: this was not my choice) to a new team back in January. I’m longing to have control over my precious time — aren’t we all? So deciding to quit was actually the easy part: the harder part is figuring out what comes after that. I want flexibility and creativity, adventure, connection, meaning, a more leisurely pace, and to make a difference. Details T.B.D. In the meantime, I’m doing the things you’re supposed to do: crafting my first resume in fifteen years (which took hours and hours and hours), updating my profile on LinkedIn (which didn’t exist the last time I looked for a job), searching the job listings (erratically), and reaching out to friends — and friends of friends of friends — for support and consultation.

One element of the transition plan is to rent out my flat and move in with Craig. I’m excited and a bit anxious about this change, but we’re working out the details (closet space, furniture, kitchen storage, statuary… what we’re attached to and what we can let go). Fortunately, we long ago sorted through such thorny issues as which way the toilet paper rolls (from the top — duh!) and how you squeeze the toothpaste tube (agreed to disagree). Even more fortunately, Craig is being wonderful about making space for me: clearing out closets, putting up shelves, and allowing me to recreate my living room in his mostly-empty front room. We’re even talking about buying a china cabinet!

And other blessings…

A few other things I want to mention before I close:

Flowers! My Christmas cacti are in glorious bloom. I’m always thrilled and proud when this happens, though it really has nothing to do with me. Same with my orchids. If I knew what to do to make them re-bloom, I would do it. But they bloom on their own schedule, independent of my efforts (or lack thereof). Or they don’t. I provide water and a sunny window, and I’m always ridiculously delighted when they grace me with more flowers — at which point I promote them from the back room to the dining room or kitchen. And while I’m waiting for the next blooming, I buy more plants — always my favorite indulgence. Looking forward to poinsettias…

The strike is over! The Marriott hotel workers went on strike in early October, and they have been marching and beating drums and banging sticks and blowing whistles and shouting and chanting ceaselessly ever since — not to mention all the drivers honking their approbation. I support the workers, and I admire their determination and fortitude. But. My office is right across the street from the Palace Hotel, which means that the past two months have been a headache and a misery for my colleagues and me. We are grateful for the return of (relative) quiet.

We saw a truly delightful production of Once Upon A Mattress at Bishop O’Dowd High School in Oakland. Under the direction of Dennis Kohles, drama department head since 1985, these talented teenagers sang and danced and acted their hearts out — and knocked our socks off. Bravissimo to Dennis, his cast and crew! We’re looking forward to their spring production of The King and I.

We recently wrapped up our 9th year of A Common Table! I’m so grateful to all the cooks that have participated in and supported this project. And proud that we have been able to supply creative, delicious, and healthy meals to women and children who are struggling. (The above photo is from our first dinner in 2009.) Year 10 starts in January… come cook with us!

Keep a green bough in your heart, and a singing bird will come.
— Chinese proverb (and always good advice!)

Connections

• Clay Scott is the host of Mountain West Voices, a wonderful podcast that features “the extraordinary stories of ordinary people throughout the Rocky Mountain West.” Subscribe on iTunes or on the NPR podcast site.
• In his 2005 commencement address at Stanford University, Steve Jobs told the audience that since he was seventeen he had looked in the mirror every morning and asked himself: If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? Not a bad way to clarify one’s priorities!
• My LinkedIn profile (just in case you have a job for me or something…)
• San Francisco Chronicle (12/3/18): Marriott and SF hotel workers reach agreement to end strike
• More about Dennis Kohles and his amazing drama program: O’Dowd Drama Head Raises the Standard for High School Acting (Oakland Magazine, 9/4/18)

You might also like…

• Smiles of a summer night
• A Common Table
• The uncommon cooks of A Common Table
• All postcards